You think English is easy???

Read to the end . . .*tell me your comment*

The bandage was wound around the wound.

The farm was used to produce produce .

Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present

When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradox e s, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy a r e opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick'

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this .

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'

It's easy to understandUP, meaning t oward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? *At a meeting, why does a topic comeUP? *Why do we speak UPand why are the officersUPfor election and why is it UPto the secretary to writeUPa report ?

We callUPour friends. *And we use it to brightenUPa room, polishUPthe silver, we warm UPthe leftovers and clean UPthe kitchen. *We lockUPthe house and some guys fixUPthe old car .* At other times the little word has real special meaning. *Peop le stirUPtrouble, lineUPfor tickets, workUPan appetite, and think UPexcuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UPis special.

And thisUPis confusing: *A drain must be openedUPbecause it is stopped UP.We openUPa store in the morning but we close it UPat night.

We seem to be pretty mixedUPabout UP !To be knowledgeable about the proper uses ofUP,look the wordUPin the dictionary. *In a desk-sized dictionary, it takesUPalmost 1/4th of the page and can addUPto about thirty definitions. I f you are UPto it, you might try buildingUPa list of the many ways UPis used. *It wil l takeUPa lot of your time, but if you don't give UP,you may windUPwith a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP* When the sun comes out we say it is clearingUP..

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.

When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dryUP

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap itUP, for now my time is *UP, so............ it is time to shut UP...!

Many Blessings.