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  1. #1
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    You think English is easy?

    You think English is easy???

    Read to the end . . .*tell me your comment*


    The bandage was wound around the wound.


    The farm was used to produce produce .


    Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present

    When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

    The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

    There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row

    13) They were too close to the door to close it.

    14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

    A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

    17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

    18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

    I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

    How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?


    Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradox e s, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

    And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

    If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

    How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy a r e opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

    English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

    PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick'


    You lovers of the English language might enjoy this .

    There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'

    It's easy to understandUP, meaning t oward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? *At a meeting, why does a topic comeUP? *Why do we speak UPand why are the officersUPfor election and why is it UPto the secretary to writeUPa report ?

    We callUPour friends. *And we use it to brightenUPa room, polishUPthe silver, we warm UPthe leftovers and clean UPthe kitchen. *We lockUPthe house and some guys fixUPthe old car .* At other times the little word has real special meaning. *Peop le stirUPtrouble, lineUPfor tickets, workUPan appetite, and think UPexcuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UPis special.

    And thisUPis confusing: *A drain must be openedUPbecause it is stopped UP.We openUPa store in the morning but we close it UPat night.

    We seem to be pretty mixedUPabout UP !To be knowledgeable about the proper uses ofUP,look the wordUPin the dictionary. *In a desk-sized dictionary, it takesUPalmost 1/4th of the page and can addUPto about thirty definitions. I f you are UPto it, you might try buildingUPa list of the many ways UPis used. *It wil l takeUPa lot of your time, but if you don't give UP,you may windUPwith a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP* When the sun comes out we say it is clearingUP..

    When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.

    When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dryUP

    One could go on and on, but I'll wrap itUP, for now my time is *UP, so............ it is time to shut UP...!

    Many Blessings.
    Ask and You shall receive,
    Seek and You shall find,
    Knock and the door will be open unto You.

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by CWH View Post
    You think English is easy???

    Read to the end . . .*tell me your comment*


    The bandage was wound around the wound.


    The farm was used to produce produce .


    Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present

    When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

    The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

    There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row

    13) They were too close to the door to close it.

    14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

    A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

    17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

    18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

    I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

    How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?


    Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradox e s, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

    And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

    If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

    How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy a r e opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

    English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

    PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick'


    You lovers of the English language might enjoy this .

    There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'

    It's easy to understandUP, meaning t oward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? *At a meeting, why does a topic comeUP? *Why do we speak UPand why are the officersUPfor election and why is it UPto the secretary to writeUPa report ?

    We callUPour friends. *And we use it to brightenUPa room, polishUPthe silver, we warm UPthe leftovers and clean UPthe kitchen. *We lockUPthe house and some guys fixUPthe old car .* At other times the little word has real special meaning. *Peop le stirUPtrouble, lineUPfor tickets, workUPan appetite, and think UPexcuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UPis special.

    And thisUPis confusing: *A drain must be openedUPbecause it is stopped UP.We openUPa store in the morning but we close it UPat night.

    We seem to be pretty mixedUPabout UP !To be knowledgeable about the proper uses ofUP,look the wordUPin the dictionary. *In a desk-sized dictionary, it takesUPalmost 1/4th of the page and can addUPto about thirty definitions. I f you are UPto it, you might try buildingUPa list of the many ways UPis used. *It wil l takeUPa lot of your time, but if you don't give UP,you may windUPwith a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP* When the sun comes out we say it is clearingUP..

    When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.

    When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dryUP

    One could go on and on, but I'll wrap itUP, for now my time is *UP, so............ it is time to shut UP...!

    Many Blessings.
    Thanks for the UPbeat post, without beatingUP on anyone...maybe you could even digUP some beets to eat...

    Rose
    Never trust anything you are afraid to question ~

    To know oneself is to know the universe...


    Live Fully...Love Extravagantly...For the sake of Goodness

    Be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves. Matt.10:16

    Come let us reason together...Isa.1:18
    ********************************
    My new Blog site: God and Butterfly

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose View Post
    Thanks for the UPbeat post, without beatingUP on anyone...maybe you could even digUP some beets to eat...

    Rose
    Yes, CWH honored us with a wonderful post. It was so UPlifting I knew it would be a long time before I got fed UP with it.

    I've given UP on a lot of things, but never given down. What's UP with that?

    I've seen plenty of things OUT of whack, but never something in whack.

    I've seen many folks lacking ruth, but never one possessing it!

    English is tough language to work through. I've had enough.
    • Skepticism is the antiseptic of the mind.
    • Remember why we debate. We have nothing to lose but the errors we hold. Who but a stubborn fool would hold to errors once they have been exposed?

    Check out my blog site

  4. #4
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    Conversation between Condoleezza Rice and George Bush

    You think English is easy?.....wait till you see the video on the conversation between Condoleezza Rice and George Bush:


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frMz9s3OLwY


    May God Mercy be with all of us.
    Ask and You shall receive,
    Seek and You shall find,
    Knock and the door will be open unto You.

  5. #5
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    Arrow

    Quote Originally Posted by CWH View Post
    You think English is easy?.....wait till you see the video on the conversation between Condoleezza Rice and George Bush:


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frMz9s3OLwY
    Great--everyone should see this! and loved the post, too -- reminded me of "Our Confounded Language", Gen 11:7, and of how THEY came down in sequence.. God on the Mountain, Jesus as a babe, and the HG as a mighty rushing wind. amen?
    Dux allows: "It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out the matter". Pr25:2

  6. #6
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    No wonder we used to misinterpret thew Bible!....because it is translated to English from a foreign language.

    Genesis 11:6 The LORD said, “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. 7 Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other.”
    Genesis 11:8 So the LORD scattered them from there over all the earth, and they stopped building the city. 9 That is why it was called Babel[c]—because there the LORD confused the language of the whole world. From there the LORD scattered them over the face of the whole earth.

    There are dozens of other examples of words such as these that look the same, are spelled the same, but are pronounced differently and have different meanings, making English such a challenge to learn.

    The following examples show what can happen when a translation is made from a dictionary without taking into account the cultural elements of the other language.

    1. When American Airlines wanted to advertise its new leather first-class seats in the Mexican market, it translated its "Fly in Leather" campaign literally, which meant "Fly Naked" (vuela en cuero) in Spanish.

    2. When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, "It won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you." The company thought that the word "embarazar" (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read, "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant."

    3. Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "It takes a strong man to make a tender chicken." was translated into Spanish as "It takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate."

    4. The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Kekoukela", meaning "Bite the wax tadpole or "female horse stuffed with wax", depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent, "kokou kole", translating into "happiness in the mouth."

    5. Pepsi's "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave" in Chinese.

    6. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I Saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I Saw the Potato" (la papa).

    7. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, which was also the name of a notorious pornographic magazine.

    8. When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the U.S., with the smiling baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the label of what was inside, since many people could not read.

    9. Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick," a curling iron, into Germany only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not many people had use for the "Manure Stick".

    10. Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux."

    11. Coors put its slogan, "Turn it Loose!", into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea."

    12. The Dairy Association's huge success with the campaign "Got Milk?" prompted them to expand advertising into Mexico. It was soon brought to their attention that the Spanish translation read: "Are you lactating?".



    May many God Blessings comes your way.
    Ask and You shall receive,
    Seek and You shall find,
    Knock and the door will be open unto You.

  7. #7
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    More....

    More crazy English phrases.....

    If unbutton and button, tie and untie are opposite; then how come loosen and unloosen mean the same? A harmful action is the opposite of harmless action, but shameful and shameless actions are the same. Appropriate and inappropriate mean opposite, but flammable and inflammable mean the same. uplift means to lift up but upset does not mean to set up!!!

    A waiter is a person who serves the food but it is the customer who is actually waiting!!!
    A non stop flight or bus – I could never understand what this means; perhaps it means that it doesn’t have a particular stop so it will stop everywhere.
    A hot cup of coffee - After all who cares if the cup is hot? Surely we mean a cup of hot coffee…
    A One night stand – Guess who is standing?? That also whole one night!!!
    To sleep with someone – Can you believe that someone will be sleeping while sleeping with someone?
    Extraordinary – If extra large means larger then large, extra fine means finer than fine, then I would say extraordinary means MORE ORDINARY THAN ORDINARY.
    Preplan, preheat, prerecord - Don’t you think that the prefix 'pre' adds no meaning here? Any way, you are simply planning, heating or recording, and these all have to be done in advance.
    Skinny – If fatty means full of fat, shouldn’t skinny mean full of skin??
    'They do the things behind my back!' – So you expect them to do the things in front of your back!!
    Neither is a restroom a room to rest nor a toilet a room to toil....hmmm.... unless if one is constipated!!


    Thank God for confusing languages; it makes life more fun and enjoyable.
    Ask and You shall receive,
    Seek and You shall find,
    Knock and the door will be open unto You.

  8. #8
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    You think English poem is easy?

    What an English poem!...

    When the English tongue we speak.
    Why is break not rhymed with freak?
    Will you tell me why it's true
    We say sew but likewise few?
    And the maker of the verse,
    Cannot rhyme his horse with worse?
    Beard is not the same as heard
    Cord is different from word.
    Cow is cow but low is low
    Shoe is never rhymed with foe.
    Think of hose, dose, and lose
    And think of goose and yet with choose
    Think of comb, tomb and bomb,
    Doll and roll or home and some.
    Since pay is rhymed with say
    Why not paid with said I pray?
    Think of blood, food and good.
    Mould is not pronounced like could.
    Wherefore done, but gone and lone -
    Is there any reason known?
    To sum up all, it seems to me
    Sound and letters don't agree.

    Eye halve a spelling checker
    It came with my pea sea
    It plainly marques for my revue
    Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
    Eye strike a key and type a word
    And weight four it to say
    Weather eye am wrong oar write
    It shows me strait a weigh.
    As soon as a mist ache is maid
    It nose bee fore two long
    And eye can put the error rite
    It's rare lea ever wrong.
    Eye have run this poem threw it
    Eye am shore your pleased two no
    It's letter perfect awl the weigh
    My checker tolled me sew.
    Margo Roark.


    God save the English language! Amen.
    Ask and You shall receive,
    Seek and You shall find,
    Knock and the door will be open unto You.

  9. #9
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    Funny poem. Too true! Thanks for sharing.
    • Skepticism is the antiseptic of the mind.
    • Remember why we debate. We have nothing to lose but the errors we hold. Who but a stubborn fool would hold to errors once they have been exposed?

    Check out my blog site

  10. #10
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    Chinglish

    I guess the Chinese find English difficult:

    Chinglish

    In a Beijing hotel lobby:
    "The lift is being fixed for next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable."

    In a Shanghai hotel elevator:
    "Please leave your values at the front desk."

    In a Hangzhou hotel:
    "The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid."

    In a Jilin hotel:
    "You are very invited to take advantage of the chambermaid."

    In a Wuxi dry-cleaner:
    "Please drop your trousers here for best results."

    Outside a Tianjin clothing shop:
    "Order your summer suits quick. Because of big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation."

    In a Xian tailor shop:
    "Ladies may have a fit upstairs."

    In a Guilin hotel:
    "Because of impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose."

    An ad by a Kunming dentist:
    "Teeth extracted by the latest methodists."

    In a Hangzhou zoo:
    "Please do not feed animals. If you have suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."

    From a karaoke bar song list in Suzhou:
    "I'd Like to Teach the Wound to Sing" and "What Kind of Foot Am I?"

    In a Taiyuan bar:
    "Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts."

    Hainan airline ticket office:
    "We take your bags and send them in all directions."

    In a Huashan temple:
    "It is forbidden to enter a woman. Even a foreigner if dressed as a man."

    In a Kunming Buddhist temple:
    "Please don´t make confusing noise while chanting"
    and
    "Please don´t be crowded"

    In Shaoshan all over the place:
    "Visit in civilization"


    A sign in English outside Beijing gardens admonishes us that
    "Decadent songs and actions that go against decency are not allowed here."

    Street signs uplift as in "Carry oneself with civilisation, friendship and unition of all peoples."
    They encourage us to "Pay attention to the sanitation" and to "Do lustre to the environment."

    Hotel Chinglish, a pamphlet in English advises, "Guests must not get up other guests before breakfast" and similarly,
    "Guests must not come in their rooms after 11pm."
    It's reassuring, however, because the place is also described as an "Hygenically recommendable institution. No pets, combustible or explodable."

    Among the hotel rules are Rules Number 29-30, "Tenants are not permitted to bring cattle or live fowls."
    They appear not to draw the line at sheep or goats.

    Store Chinglish, it's reassuring to know that one's personal possessions, if left in the local Bag-Keeping Office, will be safe'n'sound.
    A Notice-to-customers outlines the services provided:
    1. Only keep bigger bags and cases.
    2. Don't keep cash, cheques as well as precious articles.
    3. Don't keep dangerous easy broken and inflammables, and
    4. Don't look after any articles.


    I guess God has some humor when He confused the world's languages!... Alleluia!
    Ask and You shall receive,
    Seek and You shall find,
    Knock and the door will be open unto You.

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