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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Lebanon,Pa
    Posts
    200

    Talking I Am Well Trained

    I'm not married, and I am really good. I come already trained. I won't even kiss a girl without permission, even if she is under the mistletoe. I won't open a car door unless she tells me to. Don't want to hear, "I'm not an invalid." If I do get married, and I come home and see my wife crying, I know better than to ask, "Honey, how was your day?" I also know better than to take out the garbage until I'm told to. I also know that, if she has a cat, the cat is the boss. And, perhaps the most important; always keep the toilet seat down, and the lid up. Hopefully the cat will drown itself. >just kidding<. Never complain about not having enough covers when she pulls them all to her side of the bed. And if she has children, treat them like your own means: buy them candy, get them presents, but never discipline them like they are my own.

    As you can see, I am well trained.

    Justice at the expense of the truth is not justice at all.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    4,313
    Quote Originally Posted by Didymus View Post
    I'm not married, and I am really good. I come already trained. I won't even kiss a girl without permission, even if she is under the mistletoe. I won't open a car door unless she tells me to. Don't want to hear, "I'm not an invalid." If I do get married, and I come home and see my wife crying, I know better than to ask, "Honey, how was your day?" I also know better than to take out the garbage until I'm told to. I also know that, if she has a cat, the cat is the boss. And, perhaps the most important; always keep the toilet seat down, and the lid up. Hopefully the cat will drown itself. >just kidding<. Never complain about not having enough covers when she pulls them all to her side of the bed. And if she has children, treat them like your own means: buy them candy, get them presents, but never discipline them like they are my own.

    As you can see, I am well trained.

    All I can say is that with your attitude about women, it's better that you don't get married-again....
    Never trust anything you are afraid to question ~

    To know oneself is to know the universe...


    Live Fully...Love Extravagantly...For the sake of Goodness

    Be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves. Matt.10:16

    Come let us reason together...Isa.1:18
    ********************************
    My new Blog site: God and Butterfly

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Lebanon,Pa
    Posts
    200
    Rose,

    I never was married, so how could I get married again?

    Justice at the expense of the truth is not justice at all.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Not from this world...from the other side
    Posts
    3,236

    Eunuch

    Eunuch in the Bible does not necessarily mean eunuch but unmarried/ bachelor:

    Matthew 19:10 The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”

    11 Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”


    The verses above sounds funny if it means enuch; no eunuch were borned eunuch i.e. without the male sex organ. It therefore means unmarried bachelor. What Jesus was basically saying is that some people were not married because they want to remain so as bachelor for various reasons ("born that way" = ?medical reasons, ?genetics, ?impotence, ?psychological, ?infertility); some because they were made unmarried bachelors by others (? rejections from the opposite sex or ? have their sex organs removed? ? injury to the sexual organs by others); some remains unmarried because of the work for the kingdom of heaven (so as to be pure and undefiled by women as mentioned in Revelation)...Paul and some of the apostles were unmarried bachelors. I believe some of the apostles were married but left their spouses for the work/sake of the kingdom of heaven. The amazing advice from Jesus was, "The one who can accept this should accept it" (He of course did not meant those who want to be eunuch/bachelor should have their sexual organs removed whenever possible....wow, can't imagine if He meant that literally) but meaning those who can withstand such sexual, emotional, genetical, social, cultural, psychological and hormonal urges should do so and remain unmarried. Didymus, you are one of those rare ones... it's ok if one wants to remain a bachelor for various reasons and it's their personal choice, but which "eunuch" are you?.......I guess you must be after the kingdom of heaven.

    How do you withstand those urges? RAM would probably like to learn from you if he is much younger.... (joking)...... If everyone remains unmarried, the human race will be an endangered species in 50 years time and will be extinct in 100 years time! Perhaps, good idea for world population control . This is one reason why God told people to multiply and fill the earth in Genesis and after the great flood so that humans will always populate the earth.

    Genesis 1:27 So God created mankind in his own image,
    in the image of God he created them;
    male and female he created them.

    28 God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”



    Genesis 9:1 Then God blessed Noah and his sons, saying to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the earth. 2 The fear and dread of you will fall on all the beasts of the earth, and on all the birds in the sky, on every creature that moves along the ground, and on all the fish in the sea; they are given into your hands. 3 Everything that lives and moves about will be food for you. Just as I gave you the green plants, I now give you everything.

    Well, looks like most of us are Not Well Trained ....are you conducting any courses?.....


    Many Blessings.
    Last edited by CWH; 11-02-2010 at 04:56 AM.
    Ask and You shall receive,
    Seek and You shall find,
    Knock and the door will be open unto You.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    40
    Quote Originally Posted by Didymus View Post
    I'm not married, and I am really good. I come already trained. I won't even kiss a girl without permission, even if she is under the mistletoe. I won't open a car door unless she tells me to. Don't want to hear, "I'm not an invalid." If I do get married, and I come home and see my wife crying, I know better than to ask, "Honey, how was your day?" I also know better than to take out the garbage until I'm told to. I also know that, if she has a cat, the cat is the boss. And, perhaps the most important; always keep the toilet seat down, and the lid up. Hopefully the cat will drown itself. >just kidding<. Never complain about not having enough covers when she pulls them all to her side of the bed. And if she has children, treat them like your own means: buy them candy, get them presents, but never discipline them like they are my own.

    As you can see, I am well trained.

    Perfect! I'll have to tell all my single friends about you! Well, not the ones who own cats, (just kidding )!
    Truth, the final frontier
    Cool quote!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    4,313
    Quote Originally Posted by Didymus View Post
    Rose,

    I never was married, so how could I get married again?

    Didymus,

    If you have never been married....how can you be well trained? That only comes from experience...

    Rose
    Never trust anything you are afraid to question ~

    To know oneself is to know the universe...


    Live Fully...Love Extravagantly...For the sake of Goodness

    Be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves. Matt.10:16

    Come let us reason together...Isa.1:18
    ********************************
    My new Blog site: God and Butterfly

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Lebanon,Pa
    Posts
    200
    Quote Originally Posted by Rose View Post
    Didymus,

    If you have never been married....how can you be well trained? That only comes from experience...

    Rose
    I have had girlfriends. So much of what I said is from what I learned from them. Other things I learned by being educated by other men.

    - this sure is a long movie
    Justice at the expense of the truth is not justice at all.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Not from this world...from the other side
    Posts
    3,236
    Quote Originally Posted by Didymus View Post
    I have had girlfriends. So much of what I said is from what I learned from them. Other things I learned by being educated by other men.

    - this sure is a long movie
    Please specify and declare what you have learned from your girlfriends and "other things educated by men"? I hope we are not thinking something funny?...No wonder you are well-trained! Don't worry if you have really done something and well-trained.....just repent and Cut it off and Throw it away! It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

    Matthew 5:29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

    Many Blessing
    Last edited by CWH; 11-09-2010 at 05:45 AM.
    Ask and You shall receive,
    Seek and You shall find,
    Knock and the door will be open unto You.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Lebanon,Pa
    Posts
    200
    Alot of analysing for something that is meant to be funny. Why can't you people just have a good laugh?

    Or don't you think it's funny?

    Justice at the expense of the truth is not justice at all.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Lebanon,Pa
    Posts
    200
    Having re-read this thread, it seems I made a mistake. You did get the humor, as I have laughed al the way through.

    Justice at the expense of the truth is not justice at all.

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