Live from Liberty University: Dr. Ergun Caner discovers Noah’s Ark!

Truth is not only stranger than fiction, it also can be a lot funnier – especially when multiple fictions being sold as truth collide in an internet conflagration that simultaneously debunks them all. A real Bonfire of the Vanities if you will.

The first page returned when searching Google Blogs for Ergun Caner Noah’s Ark is titled Noah’s ark hoax again – follow the money. It begins with these words:

A polite but angry archaeologist, Dr. Robert R. Cargill lays short waste to claims of noah’s ark ministries international that this group out of Hong Kong has found Noah’s ark. Noah’s ark gets found every couple of years, and this year is no exception.

…however, this story may be even more sinister than a simple sensationalist claim. there is evidence that it may have all been a hoax. an article by stephen kurczy in the christian science monitor is now claiming that fellow ark hunter, dr. randall price of liberty university, who once worked with the noah’s ark ministries international group and was the archaeologist on the chinese-led team in 2008 when this alleged discovery was first made, may have been participants in an elaborate hoax. according to the article:

which he goes on to quote in his post; no, no you didn’t find noah’s ark.

At the end of the the article, he switches topic (at least superficially) to Ergun Caner’s deceptions with these words:

PS: Liberty University (Jerry Falwell’s Lynchburg VA fundamentalist school) is facing another scandal. The President and Dean of Liberty Baptist Theological Seminary, Dr. Ergun Caner has been er, creative about his background.

Southern Baptist bloggers have been instrumental in uncovering the Liberty U’s staff member errors and lies. A good summary of religious right star Dr. Caner’s claims is here.

Concerning Randall Price, Noah’s Ark, and Liberty University, we have this glowing praise from PZ Meyer in his article called Latest Ark finding is a fake:

This is completely unsurprising. An account from Randall Price has emerged; Price is a notorious Ark-hunter, young earth creationist, and professor at Liberty University, so he has good kook credentials and is the kind of guy who desperately wants the recent claims of the discovery of Noah’s Ark to be true, making this an admission contrary to his biases…of course, it turns out he also has a money motive to begrudge the Chinese evangelicals their ‘discovery’. But this is also a familiar story.

Scientifically, Young Earth Creationism is of the same class as believing the earth is flat. This confluence of multiple deceptions and absurdities has inspired me to follow in Ergun’s footsteps and invent an account of how it was he who actually discovered Noah’s ark while being trained in the Islamic Youth Jihad in eastern Turkey:

A testimony by Ergan Caner as it might be imagined after listening to his many claims:

Let me submit to you a most amazing thing that happened when I was a child growing up in eastern Turkey being trained by the Islamic Youth Jihad to do unto you that which happened on September 11. Our Zukhurruukhadoo (which means “Terrorist Leader” in my native Turkish tongue),  often demanded extreme acts of physical exertion to train our bodies for JIHAD!!! against Ameeerrrrrrrikans  by having us run up the side of Mount Ararrrrat. And believe it or not (this is true, I would never lie to you, this really happened), one day a storm struck when I was near the peak and while looking for shelter I found Noah’s Ark! I showed it to my mukhahundahs (meaning “comrades” in my native Turkish tongue) and after an hour of rapt exploration we found a stall marked “bacharakhahakhara” (which means “cattle” in my native Turkish tongue). It was the very place Noah kept the cattle for over a year, so as you might imagine it was full of dung which now was very dry after 4,000 years and burned very easily. So we made a campfire with the cow dung. I’ll never forget the many hours we sat telling stories as we warmed ourselves with that ancient pile of burning bullshit.

If you are wondering what inspired me to present Ergun as repeatedly speaking rank gibberish, take a look at this video:

The first foreign words he spoke (Isa bin Allah) are Arabic and mean “Jesus son of Allah.” Elsewhere Caner incorrectly translates them as “Jesus IS Allah.” The “foreign” words that follow are absolute gibberish with no meaning in any language. It is utterly meaningless moronic babble being presented as what he supposedly said to his father on the day he supposedly received Jesus Christ as Lord. I say supposedly for many reasons – one of which being that he falsely stated the date to be November 4, 1982 which contradicts his testimony elsewhere. Another example of this absurd deception is found here.

I think Ergun, as the President and Dean of the Liberty Baptist Theological Seminary, has given us a new meaning to the word “Liberty” in Liberty University. Their new byline should read:

Liberty University – Nobody Takes Greater Liberty With The Truth!

Posted in Christianity, Comedy Tagged with: , ,
12 comments on “Live from Liberty University: Dr. Ergun Caner discovers Noah’s Ark!
  1. Bene Diction says:

    Thanks for the link.

    Blog on!

  2. john says:

    Good posting on Ergun Caner found Noah’s Ark. I believe Ergun Caner was not only trained in Turkey, but also in Afghanistan, etc. Why don’t you do some more interview ‘with him. Now I understand why the school’s name is Liberty. Great name

  3. john says:

    You all will be surprised one day when you find out that Ergun Caner is actually the son of a Jihad’s leader.

  4. I would be much more than surprised. I have listened to many hours of Egun’s testimony and have never heard him describe his father as a “Jihad leader.” Where did you get this idea? Have you heard him say it? If so, please cite the source.

    But the question of whether or not Acar Caner was a Jihadist is not particularly relevant anyway. Ergun has publicly asserted that he was trained in eastern Turkey and that he came to America in 1978 to “do that which was done on September 11.” We have solid evidence that he came to America when he was about three years old, and after the divorce in 1975 there is a court order that prohibited him from leaving the country. So he never was trained in Turkey and he did not come to America in 1978 as he repeatedly claimed. Furthermore, in the audio clip from Preston Baptist Church recorded in 2001 and recently played by Focus on the Family, he said he converted when he was 17 years old. This contradicts another audio clip in which he very carefully and deliberately stated that he converted on November 4, 1982 (he turned 16 years old that year). Furthermore, this contradicts the written testimony in the book “Unveiling Islam” which states that Emir converted on that exact date. And this contradicts their joint testimony on John Ankerberg’s show (and others) where they stated that Emir converted “about a year” after Ergun. And on and on it goes. The testimony of the Caner brothers is filled with demonstrable falsehoods from beginning to end.

  5. It’s probably only a matter of time till we find out that Egun trained with Bin Laden. :-\

  6. charles allan says:

    Jesus was a young earth creationist – he was there when the earth was created through Him. His line can be traced back to Adam – he mentioned the Flood of Noah.
    Are you saying Jesus was telling lies.

  7. Hi Charles,

    Jesus did not come to give us a scientific explanation of His creation. He said nothing about the mathematical laws of Gravity, Electromagnetism, or Quantum Physics. But he did give us minds that could learn and over time we have learned a lot about His creation. And in the process of all this learning we have come to a very solid understanding that the earth is a few billion years old. If you think this contradicts Scripture then you need to consider the possibility that the error is not in Science, nor the Bible, but rather in your understanding of those topics. Folks encountered precisely the same challenge when Copernicus discovered that the earth is not the center of the universe. The Roman Catholic Church had great problems with this because it contradicted their interpretation of Scripture. Now, after much study, they have come to understand that the problem was not with Scripture, nor with Science, but rather, with their own understanding.

    All the very best,


  8. john says:

    Lying to the top is Liberty’s philosophy. The fundies do not care what the world says. They are in a different world.

  9. Given that they have actively colluded with Ergun to hide his lies for over two months, I am forced to agree with you.

  10. D.GALAL says:

    Noah’s Ark Hadramout Yemen MUST WATCH!!!

  11. Josh says:

    I always thought something was suspicious about Ergun Caner. Thanks for the post. P.S Just because a man is a liar, or found to be a liar, doesn’t discredit Christianity. Many a liar in other religious institutions have been found guilty, but unless the ultimate message behind the belief is a lie, then and only then should that belief be discredited, or disregarded. Let us look into the beliefs and not the believers to find the answers

  12. Hi Josh,

    I agree that sin amongst leaders in a Christian organization does not discredit Christianity. And a little sin here or there amongst leaders in a Christian organization does not necessarily discredit that organization. On the contrary, it could validate the organization if the leaders acted swiftly and with integrity when they found one of their own sinning. Unfortunately, this is not what is happening with the Ergun Caner scandal. Many leaders at LU and related organizations have been working hard to cover up the sin and to suppress the truth. They are deliberately serving darkness and lies in an effort to protect themselves. This indicates to me that they and all the related Christian organizations and the leaders associated with them are utterly and irredeemably corrupt. Given that they are forcefully resisting the revelation of truth, we know with certainty that they NEVER would have dealt with Caner’s sins if not forced to do so by outside secular forces. In other words, they are more wicked than the “worldly sinners” they denounce in every sermon.


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