If Women rule the world

**CWH** · 03-23-2012, 03:27 AM

Enough of Rose, let's have some fun time men! (Note: no pun or insult intended)

http://home.tiac.net/~cri/1998/femrule.html

If Women Ran The World...

A man would no longer be considered a "good catch" simply because he is
breathing.

Medical research money would be spent on developing new birth control
methods for men.

Women with cold hands would give men prostate exams.

Baby-sitting, doing dishes and making beds would be considered "Macho".

The hem of men's pants would go up or down depending on the economy.

Men would be forced to purchase overpriced clothes every season.

Minnie Mouse would get equal billing with Mickey.

Fewer women would be dieting because the ideal weight standard would
increase by 40 pounds.

Overweight men would be encouraged to wear girdles.

PMS would be a legitimate defense in court.

Men would come with papers showing their true identity, marital and
employment status, if they live with their mother, and whether they have
had their shots.

Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity.

Men would get reputations for sleeping around.

"Ms. Magazine" would have an annual swimsuit issue featuring scantily clad
male models.

Men who designed women's shoes would be forced to wear them.

Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours of
bedtime.

Men would be as attentive AFTER marriage as they were before.

Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working twice as hard for none
of the credit.

Little girls would read "Snow White and the Seven Hunks".

Men would earn 70 cents for every dollar women make.

Men would bring drinks, chips and dip to women watching soap operas.

Men would HAVE to get Playboy for the articles, because there would be no
pictures.

Men would learn phrases like: I'm sorry, I love you, You're beautiful, Of
course you don't look fat in that outfit, Go to sleep-I'll take care of the
baby, etc.

Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their
accomplishments.

Men would sit around and wonder what WE are thinking.

Men would pay as much attention to their women as their cars.

All toilet seats would be nailed down.

Men would work on relationships as much as they work on their careers.

TV news segments on sports would never run longer than one minute.

All men would be forced to spend one month in a PMS simulator.

Men would have their wedding rings permanently attached so they can't
pretend to be single.

During mid-life crisis, men would get hot-flashes and women would date 19
year old boys.

Overweight men would have their weight brought to their attention
constantly.

After a baby is born, men would take a six-week paternity leave to wait on
their wives hand and foot.

For basic training, soldiers would have to take care of a two-year old for
six weeks.

A female employee would be noticed for her work performance, not her bra
size.

Singles bars would have metal detectors to weed out men hiding wedding
rings in their pockets.

God Blessed.

**CWH** · 03-24-2012, 06:55 AM

More:

Maternity leave would last for two years...with full pay.
There'd be a cure for stretch marks.
Natural childbirth would become obsolete.
Morning sickness would rank as the nation's number one health problem.
All methods of birth control would be improved 100 percent
effectiveness.
Children would be kept in the hospital until they were toilet trained.
Men would be EAGER to talk about commitment.
They wouldn't think twins were quite so cute.
Fathers would demand thaqt their SONS be home from dates by 10:00pm.
Men could use THEIR briefcases as diaper bags.
They'd have to stop saying,"I'm afraid I'll drop him."
Paternity suits would be a line of clothes.
They'd stay in bed for the entire nine months.
Menus at most restaurants would list ice cream and pickles as an entree.
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If women ruled the world I wouldn’t have to drag files into the folder on my desktop,The folder would expand and envelop all the files at once, and I could drag it over them.

If women ruled the world soccer would have many balls, and the players would carry the goal around the field trying to catch as many as possible. No one would keep score.

If women ruled the world sewing wouldn’t consist of one needle piercing the fabric, but a massive fabric covering and suffocating many needles into surrendering their thread, allowing it to be fused into the fabric’s makeup until thread and fabric were indistinguishable from one another. There would be no such things as seams if women ruled the world.

If women ruled the world, men could helplessly seek refuge in their arms, crying pathetically and clinging for support. Men would no longer need to enclose themselves in large steal capsules like submarines, spaceships and airplanes as they huddle together simulating the womb with the protection it affords them. Perhaps that is why they expect the women to be like steal, bulletproof and unflinching like mens’ warships, always named 'she' as her unruly cargo is carried into battle where it can explode forth from the container like sperm, shooting their bullets indiscriminately in every direction. Shooting everywhere, sewing death and destruction instead of life and creation.

If women ruled the world, letters wouldn’t be stuffed into envelopes, carried across town and shoved into mail-slots. No, the mail-slot itself would detach from the house and, carrying its beloved letter, would begin to fly where it would meet up with other mail-slots. Then all the mail-slots would collectively deliver and the newborn letters who would frolic and learn from one another creating the many pages of a book, the book of life.

If women ruled the world inaccessible towers would no longer house the elite out of reach from the impotent masses. Meetings would be held in valleys and fields without assigned seating and there would be room for everybody if women ruled the world.

God Blessed Men.